I’d like to bring to your attention a very serious issue—the Jimmies vs. Sprinkles controversy. I have to admit, I am a firm believer that those tasty, tiny, colorful, elongated nonpareils that you put on top of ice cream are in fact, Jimmies, not sprinkles. I mean, who calls them Sprinkles out there? Anyone? If you sheepishly raised your hand, or worse, shouted, “I do!” well then you are one sorry, mistaken soul. I mean, come on! They’re Jimmies NOT Sprinkles! How could you not know that? Don’t be ridiculous. Let me explain something to you. Sprinkle is a verb. Jimmie is a noun—in other words, a name of something. That should explain everything right there. But for argument’s sake, lets move on. You “sprinkle” salt on your French fries, you “sprinkle” flour on a baker’s board, you “sprinkle” powder on a baby’s bottom. You don’t eat a sprinkle. Why? Because, and I repeat here, it’s a verb. And the last time I looked, you can’t eat a verb. That would be very tricky. So, with that said, I rest my case. They’re Jimmies. And they’re yummy. Period.