Sunday, September 2, 2012

A Giant Step for Mankind

When the department store advertised a GIANT SHOE SALE,
I don't know... I guess I just thought they meant something else.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Monkey See, Monkey Do

So, I’m sure that, after the alien incident a while back, you can guess my distress when I stumbled upon the hoards of colorful monkeys trapped inside this evil claw game in the arcade at the boardwalk. What a horrible situation these innocent little monkeys have to endure! Shocking. I mean, can they even breathe in there?

From the moment I laid eyes on them I was compelled to save them. And by save them, I mean save ALL of them. So, I placed my coins in the machine, time and time again, and thus began my mission. Within minutes I had already saved five. I was hell bent on saving them and nothing could have stopped me. Not even when the teenage attendant “politely” asked me to “step away” in order for him to “rearrange” the brightly colored, if not suffocating, monkeys. But I knew that what he really wanted to do was to push and squish them closer together, further and further down inside, and entangle their poor, lifeless arms, in order to make them all the more difficult to rescue. Not wanting him to proceed, or to draw attention to my rescue mission, I quickly used my noggin and diverted his attention away by saying that someone in the back of the arcade just beat his all time high score on Galaga. And off he went.

For the next hour or so, I not only pursued my mission, but also completed it. Barring a few dirty looks from the attendants as they watched me clean out the glass confinement, I proudly strutted out of the arcade with the entire lot of unfortunate, and mistreated, monkeys.

As of now, I have already adopted out a few little critters and will foster the rest until the perfect home comes along. So, if the feeling of giving and sharing overcomes you, please consider adopting one of these cute little colorful bumpkins using the Little Green Alien adoption form (previously supplied).

Why does this keep happening to me?…………..

Monday, April 23, 2012

April = Poetry Month

A little tanka in honor of National Poetry Month.

Willow Tree

Weeping willow tree
Sways gently in frosty air
Caressing your grave,
Dusting beautiful snowflakes
From your windswept, tear-stained stone.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Smile Pretty!

Some pictures are worth a thousand words.
Not this one.
This one is worth just one word:

Happy April Fool's Day!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Strange things have been known to happen to me when I least expect it. Take for instance, aliens.

A few months ago, I was doing the boring, yet necessary, chore of food shopping. It wasn’t going to be a full-blown food shopping experience but one that only involved the necessities of survival. So while I was standing in aisle seven, choosing between plain and sour cream & chive flavored potato chips, a funny thing happened. But it wasn’t until I tossed both bags in the cart and started to meander away that my brain registered something amiss on the chip shelf. And that something was green. Lime green, in fact.

I slowly turned and headed back to the array of flavored chips. Reaching out, I pushed a bag aside and found not one, not two, but three tiny alien eyes fixated on me, pleading and begging for help. I leaned in closer to get a better look at the extremely small entity donned in green flesh. At first glance, he appeared to be harmless enough. But just to be safe, I moved two bags of chips aside, and into the cart, to get a better look and that’s when my life as I knew it had changed. “Take me to your home!” implored the little green guy. I looked around… Then swiftly tucked him in my pocket, not knowing if ventilation was an issue or not, and proceeded directly to the checkout counter.

Once home, I unpacked the groceries and plucked the alien from my pocket. It's apparent now that aliens do in fact, require ventilation. He had turned an odd shade of green, which I can't quite describe since there are no such colors of this sort in the entire Crayola spectrum. Anyway, once recovered, the alien, whom I like to call Alan, and I sat down for a nice little chat. We talked for hours and hours, sharing numerous stories and bags of chips, and that’s when he told me that he and several like him are what we earthlings might call… homeless.

After popping open a bag of my most coveted cheddar flavored chips I had this brilliant idea of rescuing these poor homeless aliens and fostering them until the right parent/guardian came along. My house is what you might call “small,” so I decided to build a foster home for these cute little fellas while they waited for some generous, understanding, and kind person to adopt them.

So, here's how it went...

 First, I built the house and applied the first coat of paint.

 Then came the second coat of paint and the wallpaper.

The second floor was added, moldings installed, and the wooden floor was laid.

 The furniture was built and painted in complimentary colors.

 Alan moved in along with two of his good buddies.

 A short while later, a few more moved in.

Before I knew it, a slew of aliens showed up. You know that saying: "Build it and they will come?" Well, I did... And, they did... And now, I'm inundated with little green aliens and they are running amuck I tell ya! Please people, do the aliens and me a favor and adopt one... Or two... Or ten. But do it! Do it now! The application is below.
Bigify if you dare.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

~ ~ ~

You may have noticed on my Good Reads account that I recently finished reading “The Importance of Being Earnest” -- the phenomenally entertaining and comical play by Oscar Wilde. I have to admit, it was the above-mentioned quote that triggered me to read something else by the late, great Mr. Wilde. The only other book I ever read of his was “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which I’m sure you have all read and loved. Okay, maybe not loved, but let me just add here, that it was indeed, a piece of work regardless. And when a book down right gives me the heebie-jeebies, I’d have to say it’s a worthwhile read.

Now, as far as “The Importance of Being Earnest” goes, it was probably one of the funniest stories I’ve read in years. Maybe in my whole life. Besides for the witty dialogue and his astounding playful choice of words, it was one of the most enjoyable and amusing stories I have ever read. And I’m not afraid to mention here, that it was a totally hilarious story about nothing at all. A humdinger of a good-humored time!

So, after laughing my pants off as I finished it, I decided to rent the movie that came out a few years back. I must admit, although the movie was of a merry and mirthful nature, I would have to recommend reading the priceless play before seeing the movie. I have yet to see the movie version from 1952 but I do look forward to that jolly ole time.

Okay, I may have been so caught up in an uproarious moment that maybe, just maybe I made it out to be more clever and whimsical than it really was. I’ll let you be the judge of that. Now, onto “The Canterville Ghost!”