Thursday, February 23, 2012

Home Sweet Home

Strange things have been known to happen to me when I least expect it. Take for instance, aliens.

A few months ago, I was doing the boring, yet necessary, chore of food shopping. It wasn’t going to be a full-blown food shopping experience but one that only involved the necessities of survival. So while I was standing in aisle seven, choosing between plain and sour cream & chive flavored potato chips, a funny thing happened. But it wasn’t until I tossed both bags in the cart and started to meander away that my brain registered something amiss on the chip shelf. And that something was green. Lime green, in fact.

I slowly turned and headed back to the array of flavored chips. Reaching out, I pushed a bag aside and found not one, not two, but three tiny alien eyes fixated on me, pleading and begging for help. I leaned in closer to get a better look at the extremely small entity donned in green flesh. At first glance, he appeared to be harmless enough. But just to be safe, I moved two bags of chips aside, and into the cart, to get a better look and that’s when my life as I knew it had changed. “Take me to your home!” implored the little green guy. I looked around… Then swiftly tucked him in my pocket, not knowing if ventilation was an issue or not, and proceeded directly to the checkout counter.

Once home, I unpacked the groceries and plucked the alien from my pocket. It's apparent now that aliens do in fact, require ventilation. He had turned an odd shade of green, which I can't quite describe since there are no such colors of this sort in the entire Crayola spectrum. Anyway, once recovered, the alien, whom I like to call Alan, and I sat down for a nice little chat. We talked for hours and hours, sharing numerous stories and bags of chips, and that’s when he told me that he and several like him are what we earthlings might call… homeless.

After popping open a bag of my most coveted cheddar flavored chips I had this brilliant idea of rescuing these poor homeless aliens and fostering them until the right parent/guardian came along. My house is what you might call “small,” so I decided to build a foster home for these cute little fellas while they waited for some generous, understanding, and kind person to adopt them.

So, here's how it went...

 First, I built the house and applied the first coat of paint.

 Then came the second coat of paint and the wallpaper.

The second floor was added, moldings installed, and the wooden floor was laid.

 The furniture was built and painted in complimentary colors.

 Alan moved in along with two of his good buddies.

 A short while later, a few more moved in.

Before I knew it, a slew of aliens showed up. You know that saying: "Build it and they will come?" Well, I did... And, they did... And now, I'm inundated with little green aliens and they are running amuck I tell ya! Please people, do the aliens and me a favor and adopt one... Or two... Or ten. But do it! Do it now! The application is below.
Bigify if you dare.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde

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You may have noticed on my Good Reads account that I recently finished reading “The Importance of Being Earnest” -- the phenomenally entertaining and comical play by Oscar Wilde. I have to admit, it was the above-mentioned quote that triggered me to read something else by the late, great Mr. Wilde. The only other book I ever read of his was “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which I’m sure you have all read and loved. Okay, maybe not loved, but let me just add here, that it was indeed, a piece of work regardless. And when a book down right gives me the heebie-jeebies, I’d have to say it’s a worthwhile read.

Now, as far as “The Importance of Being Earnest” goes, it was probably one of the funniest stories I’ve read in years. Maybe in my whole life. Besides for the witty dialogue and his astounding playful choice of words, it was one of the most enjoyable and amusing stories I have ever read. And I’m not afraid to mention here, that it was a totally hilarious story about nothing at all. A humdinger of a good-humored time!

So, after laughing my pants off as I finished it, I decided to rent the movie that came out a few years back. I must admit, although the movie was of a merry and mirthful nature, I would have to recommend reading the priceless play before seeing the movie. I have yet to see the movie version from 1952 but I do look forward to that jolly ole time.

Okay, I may have been so caught up in an uproarious moment that maybe, just maybe I made it out to be more clever and whimsical than it really was. I’ll let you be the judge of that. Now, onto “The Canterville Ghost!”