Perfect Timing

This was no ordinary plop-the-kid-down-on-a-rug-covered-box, take-a-cute-picture, and-boop-you-got-it! No sirree! What the photographer neglected to tell my parents after he finally got this picture of me smiling was....

It took numerous tries (like hundreds) just to keep me balanced and upright on that rickety cardboard shipping box. Then, when I spent more time picking fibers from the rug than looking at the camera, he became extremely frustrated. That did not make me smile. Actually, nothing made me smile. I mean, why was I sitting on this ridiculous box in the first place? And why was I wearing the most hideously itchy dress imaginable? What did I ever do to warrant such torture?

I must say though, the photographer (let's call him Jim for now) reacted quite speedily when the first tear was on the verge of falling and the lower lip started quivering. Jim ran straight over and presented me with a blue and red bouncy ball. My eyes lit right up and those tears dried up like the Sahara Desert.

Now, let me ask you, when someone hands you a bouncy ball, isn't only natural to bounce it? I would think....YES! Well, apparently Jim thought otherwise. He got a little perturbed when I started bouncing it higher and higher. He developed that voice that adults adopt when they don't know how to relate to a child. "Now, why don't we just hold the ball in our lap like a good little girl. Wouldn't that be special?" Jim asked. Basically, I just frowned and pouted. "Come on little girl, let's be happy. Let's show Jim our smile. Koochy, Koochy, Koo!"

This is the part where things started to turn. As Jim approached with gnarly fingers ready to tickle me, I hauled off and kicked him in the knee. Jim lost his balance and started to flail his arms round and round. I then threw the ball, which ultimately beaned him in the head, and as Jim started to fall backwards, he tripped over the wire running from the camera to the studio lights. He reached out for something, anything, to keep him upright, which just happened to be the shutter release cord to the camera. And that was the exact moment this picture was taken.