Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Stripe a Pose

It may behoove you to learn that there is a difference within the species of Stripus Varandi, i.e. zebras. And, I’m not just talking male and female here. That, should be obvious. No, what I’m referring to is definitely much more obscure. To one’s dismay, there are, in fact, precisely two types of zebras – those that are black with white stripes, and those that are white with black stripes. Now, the way to tell the difference, if I may say, is by close examination of the window to the soul – in other words, the eye!

Seventy-nine point two percent of all living zebras are black with white stripes. The reason, black being the dominant color. This presents itself in the superlative coloring of the zebra’s eyelashes. At close examination, if you find the eyelashes to be black, the zebra is in fact, a black zebra with white stripes. If you are fortunate enough to find a zebra with white eyelashes, well, then, you are basically a lucky son of a gun.

A zebra with white eyelashes simply means that you have set your sights on one of most esteemed varieties in all the Equus sovereignty -- a white zebra with black stripes. Now, although the white variety is indeed harder to find, and getting close enough to determine the color of the lashes is a feat unto itself, they are not as rare as say, finding a four leaf clover. Finding one of those would grant you the title of, One Heck of a Lucky Son of a Gun.

I’d like to also bring to your attention that there is a slight difference in temperament between black and white zebras. The fuliginous stripus varandi, the black with white stripe variety, has a more audacious and willful temperament while the auricomous stripus varandi, the white with black stripe variety, has a more placid and refined temperament. It was said by the famous philosopher, Euripides J. Constantinides, who died in 1431, that if one should ever find themselves in the presence of a scarce white zebra with black stripes, your life would succumb to enchantment and delight. Now, I ask you, wouldn’t that be extraordinary?


Anonymous said...

You are SOOO whacked! That's why I prefer... LIGERS!

Louie Magooey said...

You are amazing.......only you could make that such a good read!I have had the pleasure of seeing these beauties in Africa and I tell ya, you could give the guides a run for there money!!!! Just to add, at birth the baby zebra sees only his or her mom's strips and memorises her stripes before seeing any other and that baby can find it's mom out of a very large herd.I LOVE THIS STUFF!!!