Doo or Dye

Miraculously, I somehow managed to get myself invited to the most prestigious Halloween party in Hollywood. Numerous esteemed actors and celebrities are scheduled to appear donning costumes, prosthetics, and makeup provided by, none other than, Universal Studios. Rumor has it that Johnny Depp will be appearing as Dracula, Denzel Washington as Frankenstein, Lady Gaga as The Bride of Chucky, Robert Downey, Jr. as some sort of Superhero, and Angelina Jolie as—you may have guessed—Lara Croft. The anticipation of this monstrously prodigious event is just so incredibly mind-blowing that my freakin' head is ready to pop off.

In order to prepare for the aforementioned grandiosity, I decided to pay a visit to a highly renowned (and quite expensive) beauty salon and spa. Since I trusted their professional expertise, I told them, "Do what you need to do with the doo." First, they started with a quick scissoring, then a color job, and then moved on to a soft, wavy perm. At that point I realized that there weren't any mirrors around. But, I figured hey, they were the professionals; they knew what they were doing, so what could possibly go wrong? Here's a word..... PLENTY!

This catastrophic turn of events has sent me into a downward spiral of lugubrious depression that the only thing I feel like doing now is locking myself inside the house, curling up in my favorite recliner, in the comfort of my most cherished housedress, with a hot cup of chamomile tea, reading the longest #*$%+& book I could find. Happy Halloween everybody................ boo.